Life's Invitations

I have been mourning a loss for a few months now, but I'm starting to get a little better handle on this loss as time, reflection and the whispers of God chisel away at the pain. What loss you ask? The loss of expert status.

Having been a cabinet manufacturer for 25 years, the times someone would ask a question about cabinets or cabinet manufacturing that I didn't know the answer to could be counted on one hand, and every question that I did not know the answer to, I knew where to find the answer.

Lots of friends, acquaintances and family members have asked me if I miss the cabinet business, to which I typically reply: "No, not really. What I do miss though, is being an expert." As time has marched on, and the daily struggle of learning new things, attempting to gain expert status again in a new field altogether, I have come to the realization that I may not be articulating that just right.

Let me take a quick detour to explain what I mean. As most of you know, I have just come off a 2 year sabbatical, and a year and a half of that sabbatical has included my youngest daughter moving home with our first grandchild (Princess Buttercup for those that don't know, or as her mommy and most everyone else mistakenly call her, Epperley).

Wanna play nap time GrandBob?

Having this little 3 year old bundle of intense love living under my roof, hanging around all day everyday, while I too have been hanging around all day everyday has led to some "Invitations". Her latest invitation comes in the form of "it's time to take a rest GrandBob, let's get my babies and let's all take a nap".

So we go about the incredibly important task of selecting just the right babies, which can be anywhere from 2 to 10,000 (or something inbetween). Then we head up the stairs with all the babies in tow and climb up into the bed. That my friends is an invitation I can't ignore or refuse, no matter how busy I am, I just can't say no.

As I reflect on my new career choice, and lament my lack of expert status, I have begun to see that it's not really the lack of expert status I miss most, it's the lack of invitations to do business. You see, it's been so long since I had to beat the bushes for business, that I had almost forgotten what it's like. The most desirable side effect of being an expert is that you are frequently invited to do business.

Don't get me wrong, I genuinely miss being the expert, but I miss being invited to do business even more. I'm not saying being invited to do business is commercial nirvana, because it's not. Not everyone that invited me to do business with them ultimately chose to do business with me, but I had a better shot at it than all the folks who came looking to do business.

For those that did choose to do business with me, I still had to perform, I had to perform well, I had to put on my A game, take care of that business, and it was work. Playing nap time with my granddaughter is not all fun and games. There are always elements of every good thing that we don't like, for me and nap time, it's the word "switch". Switch makes nap time less fun for me, but it makes nap time infinitely more special for her (it proves to her that I am listening, that I am all in, not just pretending to play nap time). When the princess says switch, that means GrandBob gets out of the bed and walks to the other side and gets back in and uncovers (uncovers means get under the covers in Buttercup speak).

Credit: Cordell

I know what you're thinking, how hard is that, what's the big deal GrandBob? Well, the first 2 to 4 times are no big deal at all, but at about "switch" number 20, one starts to lose the joy of the Lord, it becomes work. For me personally though, the fact that she invited me into her world makes the work all worth it. I'm willing to work to increase her joy, to magnify her love for me. I suppose I would jump off the Empire State building if she told me to, and I'm pretty sure she knows that.

This little game of nap time has taught me, through the whispers of my God, that I just need to do the work, and the invitations to do business will come again, and come in abundance, overflowing abundance. So here I go putting my nose to the grindstone, putting my back into it, grabbing hold of that plow. Working to become an expert one more time, working to gain the level of trust it takes to be invited to do business.

What I Have Learned

Eli Goldratt taught me that one thing can affect everything.

My spiritual father, Bill Sorey taught me that I was in need of a saviour, that redemption was the answer to all my emptiness.

My business experience has taught me that to be able answer someone's question is of value to them, but to be able to answer someone's question before they ask it is of great value to me.

Dave Ramsey taught me to spend less than I make.

My Bible has taught me that The Sermon on the Mount is the most profound compilation of words ever spoken on this planet.

Stephen Covey taught me to stay in the 2nd quadrant.

My friend Lynn Ray is teaching me by example what happens when we listen to the whispers of God.

Larry Burkett taught me that there is a difference in saying I trust God and actually trusting God.

My former employee and running buddy Melanie Blair Riddick taught me that ruthlessly competent is an incredibly valuable trait.

Jesus is teaching me that we/I should be Salt and Light.

My friend Bud George encourages me to nourish my mind, my soul and my body. I admire his discipline, and hate it when our lunch conversations have to end.

Ed Deming taught me that it is cheaper to do it right the first time.

My mom taught me that I am responsible for myself, no one owes me anything.

Thomas Sowell taught me that the only thing that can cure poverty is wealth.

My friend Jimmy Jobe teaches me that I am important, that I matter (don't ask me how, but I covet our lunches, and hate that they don't happen more often).

Eli Goldratt taught me that my goal in business is to make more money now and in the future.

My paternal grandparents taught me what love looks like.

Ed Deming taught me that the best decisions come from a profound knowledge of the entire process.

My maternal grandmother taught me that being different is not always a bad thing.

Dave Ramsey taught me that I really am better than I deserve.

My friend Tim Beasley has demonstrated what helping those less fortunate than yourself looks like. When someone says we ought to ..., he says when, where and what time.

Jesus is teaching me that I am to love my enemies.

My youngest daughter taught me that sometimes God chooses to clone us.

John Costanza taught me that building one thing at a time is ALWAYS better than building thousands of things at a time.

My maternal grandfather taught me that discipline hurts like the dickens, but it helps me be a better me.

Ylvis taught me that the fox says Ring-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding! Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!

My adopted mother, Linda Layne soothes my soul with every conversation we have.

Jesus is teaching me not to worry.

My friend LuAnn Sorey has taught me that crazy is not always a bad thing (I'm pretty sure she has a certifiably crazy certificate hidden somewhere in her camper).

Dr. Dobson taught me that my family is second only to God.

My wife is teaching me how to love unconditionally.

Peter Pan taught me that every day can be an adventure if you use your imagination.

Taiichi Ohno taught me that all waste is bad.

My step-dad taught me that a peacemaker is more valuable than most anything this life has to offer.

Taiichi Ohno taught me that there is a difference in movement and work (not all movement is work).

My oldest daughter is teaching me to see people for who they are, to see past their wrapper.

Dave Ramsey taught me how to change my family tree.

My new friend Don Marchant is teaching me how to pray for others.

Jesus is teaching me not to judge others.

My grandchildren have taught me that love has elements of velocity and intensity that I was not aware of.

Taiichi Ohno taught me that eliminating wasteful and meaningless jobs enhances the value of work for workers.

My former employee, and friend Wayne Burns has taught me what happens when God gives you a double portion of the encouragement gene at birth, then multiplies it to the second power at conversion.

Pastor Allen Jackson is teaching me that being an advocate for Jesus should be my highest priority, and cooperating with the Holy Spirit should be my primary objective.

My friend Patsy Ray has shown me what the term hostess with the mostess means. Total strangers feel welcomed in her home.

Payne Stewart taught me not to be a slave to fashion (my wife will confirm that I learned this lesson extremely well).

My step-mom taught me what serving others with no concern for your own comfort looks like.

Thomas Sowell taught me not to believe everything I read, hear or see.

My friend Bill Chambers taught me how to laugh out loud, how to laugh at myself (Lord I miss Bill more than I ever imagined I would).

Nell taught me that I ache after quietness.

My friend Richard Sorey showed me what loving and honoring your parents looked like.

Jesus is teaching me to love others as I love myself.

My younger brother taught me that a tender heart usually leads to calloused hands.

Oliver Wendell Holmes taught me that we need education in the obvious more than investigation of the obscure.

My friend Jim Reherman taught me what it means to have your 6:00.

Miracle Max taught me that I should have fun stormin' da castle.

My friend David Waldron taught me that sometimes the best strategy is to tie a knot and hang on.

Thomas Sowell taught me that the relationship between cause and effect is what befuddles governments. That they will never understand that preventing bad effects may prevent good effects.

My brother-in-law (wife's side) taught me what not to do when you hit a bad golf shot, he also showed me how not to waggle.

Dave Ramsey taught me that the only way to financial peace is to walk daily with the prince of peace, Christ Jesus.

My friend Wanda Shaw taught me that with enough practice, a person can speak up to 400 words per minute, with gusts up to 600 words per minute.

My former employee Ray Barnes showed me what loyalty looks like.

Muhammad taught me that if you want to build your own religion, inject a little bit of truth into your lie, and millions will swallow your lie, hook, line and sinker.

My younger sister taught me that the best argument contains the words of your opponent.

Gardening taught me that to hydrate a spiritually parched world, we need to present the Gospel like drip irrigation.

Mathew Henry taught me that all that a man hath will he give for his life.

My dad taught me that doing business right is better than doing business big.

Someone taught me to listen with the intent to hear, not to respond.

My friend Craig Collins has taught me that keeping in touch with old friends matters.

Thomas Sowell taught me that whoever has the ability to delay has the ability to impose costs to others, sometimes devastating costs.

My friend Dr. David McKnight showed me what repentance looks like, how it should be done (my eyes are leaking just from typing this).

55 years of living, and 36 years in business has taught me that government has entirely too large a part to play in determining your outcome.

My former business partner and friend Mark Poole taught me that Proverbs 27:17 (As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend) is an absolute truth.

Bob Lefevre taught me that government is a disease masquerading as its own cure.

My dad taught me that better sales are better that more sales.

Thomas Sowell taught me that knowledge is one of the scarcest of all resources.

My friend David McClatchey taught me how to listen and how to teach.

36 years in business has taught me that governments appetite for taxes is insatiable.

My older sister taught me that adversity is to be slain, and shown no mercy.

Spencer Kimball taught me that profanity is the effort of a feeble brain to express itself forcibly.

My friend Pat Glibert taught me to LOOK.

Doug Casey taught me that gold is the only financial asset that is not simultaneously someone else's liability.

My friend Randal Fowler tried to teach me that you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

Larry Burkett taught me that you cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

My friend John Alsup taught me that politics should matter to business owners.

36 years in business has taught me that government left to its own devices will either remove competition, or remove the desire to compete.

My old friend William Tinker taught me to pray for everything, even a good parking place.

Agur taught me to ask God for these two things, Keep deception and lies far from me, Give me neither poverty nor riches; Feed me with the food that is my portion, That I not be full and deny You and say, "Who is the Lord?" Or that I not be in want and steal, And profane the name of my God.

My friend Earl Richards taught me that if my name is going to be associated with something, to do that thing right, to do it to the very best of my ability.

Grover Cleveland taught me that it is the responsibility of the citizens to support their government. It is not the responsibility of the government to support its citizens.

My friend Bernie Manning taught me that there is value in the ability to tell a story well.

55 years of living has taught me that if it does not work for you, please don't export it.

My friend Bill Hooten has taught me that the God that saves us will also heal us.

Rev. Charles Stanley taught me that it is better to try something and fail than to try nothing and succeed.

My friend Thomas Clayton has demonstrated "Southern Hospitality" to me in a way I have never experienced prior to his friendship. Not sure I can learn it, but I sure love and appreciate it.

Albert Einstein taught me that when the solution is simple, God is answering.

My new friend Jack Maness taught me the meaning of kindred spirit.

A song that I do not recall the name of, or the artist, taught me that I don't need to be heard by God, I need to hear God.

Seduced By Distraction

…And I placed boundaries on it And set a bolt and doors, And I said, 'Thus far you shall come, but no farther; And here shall your proud waves stop '? "Have you ever in your life commanded the morning, And caused the dawn to know its place,…
Job 38:10-12

I posted this verse on Facebook yesterday morning because it spoke to my soul. The verse is God's response to Job, and He is letting Job know that He, and only He can tell the ocean where it's boundaries are. He and only He commands the morning, He and only He caused the dawn to know its place.

Allow me to digress for a few moments, and I'll try to tie these verses into this sad tale of distraction. 

I have been toiling to transition from a recognized expert in the cabinetry manufacturing world, to the very least of those in the insurance world (a humbling experience at best), During this time, I have struggled with the same issues I struggled with when working to become an expert in the cabinet manufacturing world.

One of my few, but very dominant attributes (aside from a large nose and short stature) is an obsession with organization, and the jury is still out on whether it is a positive or negative attribute. When I started my cabinet manufacturing business in 1990, my second biggest problem was I did not have any work to do. This led to my biggest problem: no money to feed, clothe and protect my family. This "problem" forced me to stop attempting to get the stars to align with the moon (get every process working perfectly), and get my butt out to jobsites, and sell some cabinetry jobs.

You see, my heart, soul and mind would rather work on perfecting my processes than to sell something that utilizes my perfect processes. And based on all my years of experience as a business owner with employees, I'm not alone in this perverted distraction. For me personally, it is very difficult to distinguish between processes and industry. I can clearly see that for industry to take place, there must be a process. But I have a much harder time seeing that processes in the absence of industry are totally meaningless (a plant full of equipment with no jobs to process is utterly and completely useless).

Now, to exponentially compound my weakness of focusing on processes rather than industry, along comes computers, then software, then the internet, then email, then cell phones, then smart phones, all with the power to transform business processes, but also with the incredible power to distract someone like me. I am admitting here and now, I have been seduced by technology, and as often as not, technology distracts me rather than allowing me to focus. Thus, on a daily basis I am as psychologist Daniel Goleman termed it, seduced by distraction. 

I want to master the new piece of software, I want to utilize all the options on my smart phone, I want to capitalize on the cloud, I want, I want, I want, all disguised by the cloak of organization. I deceive myself into believing I am preparing to be effective. I find myself so busy trying to get all my ducks in a row that there end up being no ducks to put in a row. As Seneca the Younger, tutor to Nero, lamented "the love of bustle is not industry, it is only the restlessness of a hunted mind."

Hi, my name is Bob, and I am a digital junky. I dig my own pit of distraction and then lament being distracted. I pay more attention to managing my time than managing my attention and focus. I am in need of technological respite, of frequent and prolonged digital sabbaths.

I'm in desperate need of wisdom, I need to learn the discipline of telling distraction that I am placing boundaries on it, that I will set a bolt and doors between distraction and focus. I need to learn how to tell technology, "Thus far you shall come, but no farther; and here shall your proud waves stop."

How about you, are you easily Seduced by Distraction (I really, really want to know your thought on this)?